You're not.

I want to tell her about my day and the cereal flattened into the carpet, the toilet paper trail from the bathroom to the kitchen and the dishes piled up from yesterday's meals. I'd tell her about my spare tire, hairy legs and fingerprint-smeared fridge.

I'm not saying we live in filth — I wipe away, sop up and tidy as best I can. It's life with a toddler. Now is the time for toys, for clutter, for watercolour paint splattered on the floor and greasy little fingerprints on the windows.

My little one is a tornado of destruction a.k.a. a full-blown toddler. Every day the house looks like an angry drunken hippopotamus has pillaged through the kitchen drawers looking for food. There are wooden spoons in the couch cushions and baby dolls in the Tupperware drawer. Some days being a mom feels a bit like drudgery and to be honest that's OK.

Somewhere along the line in today's culture, we've been told that moms need to be perfect. Six weeks after birth, our bodies need to be tight, toned and ready for spandex workout wear.

Then we're supposed to be super creative, funny, crafty, up before dawn, with our houses clean, laundry folded and dinner in the slow cooker. This happens while we workout for 45 minutes a day. Meanwhile, our cupboards are full of home baked treats and craft supplies for the afternoon art project consisting of recycled wood fibre, modpodged onto a hand painted frame.

Reality paints a different picture. It's 8 a.m. and we are still in bed. Our kids were up all night puking, or we are actually just really tired. We make coffee and race to catch up with our idea of the "perfect mom." It's exhausting living up to what society sells us as the picture of a "good mother."

You're not failing.

Let's remind ourselves what is important. What did we manage to accomplish in the chaos? Remember the hugs, smiles, meals made, diapers changed, songs belted out, toddler dance parties, books read and the list goes on. In the midst of it, we make mistakes. All the time. It's OK because we are learning.

We are not failing. Failing means giving up and not trying. That's not us.

Don't worry that your neighbour looks like she walked out of a magazine and manages to complete 12 Pinterest projects a week. You are the perfect mother for the kids you are blessed with.

Our houses will never regain their former glory until our little ones end their reign of disaster. We will regularly fantasize about hiring a cleaning service and some of us will splurge on a bit of help.

For the moms who can relate, Green Clean is giving away a three-hour cleaning session through mountainmama.ca. This is a local, environmentally-conscious company that gets it and focuses on giving back to the community. I can support that. So sign up to win a cleaned house and read more about this inspiring little company at mountainmama.ca

In the meantime, repeat after me. You are winning!

For more Mountain Mama adventures and ramblings, visit www.mountainmama.ca.