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Step away for a bit and all hell (listeria) breaks loose

Nice — you step out of the country for a few days, you get back in and right away an early fall — complete with high alpine snow — slaps you in the face.

Next thing you find out is that Canadian food producers have been writing their own food safety reports, which seem to be based largely on wishful thinking and passing on a serious dose of Listeria monocytogenes to Canadians everywhere.

And let’s see, what else. Oh, yeah, Harper is threatening to pull the plug, again.

OK, the early fall thing is not that big a deal because, well, the real thing is not that far in the future. As a matter of fact, the autumnal equinox happens this Sept. 22 at 8:44:18 a.m. PDT. You might want to mark your calendars.

I must say that snow on the Wedge looks good, but the kids are back in school, the bike park is empty and I need to get some serious riding done before this season is over, so if the powers that be wouldn’t mind, how about a decent Indian summer?

The whole Listeriosis thing would be funny if it wasn’t for the fact that at least six deaths have been linked to this debacle. According to a report in The Globe and Mail, briefing notes prepared by the Canadian Food Inspection Agency (CFIA) for a meeting with the Canadian Meat Council outline the frustration the Canadian meat industry and government felt when confronted with the precautionary regulations the United States was demanding.

Isn’t it just absolutely delicious trying to imagine the uproar that early reports about a listeriosis outbreak would have caused in the offices of the geniuses who wrote those briefing notes? OK, this is schadenfreude, I know, but believe me, poking a stick in a wasp’s nest would have nothing on the uproar this fiasco has caused inside hallowed halls of the CFIA.

Look, basically this is how Canadian food inspection works. Joe, who works for the food manufacturer, writes a glowing report on how well the standards are being adhered to down there on the food factory floor. Jane from the CFIA comes in, gets handed the report together with a cappuccino from the fancy new machine in the canteen, and reads how well the regulations are being adhered to down there on the factory floor. Meanwhile, Jack, working down there on the factory floor, wouldn’t recognize a Listeria monocytogene if it raised a flag and whistled Dixie. Hamburger, anyone?

Meanwhile, the boys and girls in Ottawa seem to be set on a bout in the election ring. The way you hear them talk, they are all ready to kick some serious butt, but the personal stakes for all party leaders are high; at least three of the four major parties could be looking for new leaders after the election. One of the major themes in this election is going to be trust, as in who can you trust to run this place? I don’t know, is the Pope running?

Maybe it’s time to step out of the country again, possibly for a few months this time.

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